Where To For Lunch?

Two guys in the lift:

A: So, where do you want to go for lunch?

B: You already asked before and I said I'm happy to go to the usual place. Obviously, you want to go elsewhere

A: Umm.. I was thinking we'll go to that place near DJs. You know, that place underneath Myer, no sorry, DJs... the food-court. What do you think?

B: Okay, sure. So, do you mean the food-court underneath DJs?

I couldn't decide which of the two was the smarter one. "Case of blind leading the blind?" I wondered as I wandered off in the opposite direction. Whatever I decide about lunch this afternoon, it certainly won't be at the food-court underneath DJs. Or the one at Myers. Just in case.

Quotes from Brida: Paulo Coelho

Choosing a path meant having to miss out on others. She had a whole life to live, and she was always thinking that, in the future, she might regret the choices she made now.
“I’m afraid of committing myself,” she thought to herself.
She wanted to follow all possible paths and so ended up following none. After her first romantic disappointment, she had never again given herself entirely. She feared pain, loss, and separation.
These things were inevitable on the path to love, and the only way of avoiding them was by deciding not to take that path at all.
In order not to suffer, you had to renounce love. It was like putting out your own eyes not to see the bad things in life.

Ever since time began, people have recognized their true Love by the light in their eyes.

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”

“Don’t bother trying to explain your emotions. Live everything as intensely as you can and keep whatever you felt as a gift from God. The best way to destroy the bridge between the visible and invisible is by trying to explain your emotions.”

“But how will I know who my Soulmate is?” Brida felt that this was one of the most important questions she had ever asked in her life.
“By taking risks” she said to Brida. ‘ By risking failure, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in you search for Love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end.”

Nothing is completely wrong. Even a broken watch is right twice a day.

Original blog is here.

A Cup Of Comfort For Friends by Colleen Sell

I was at the Crossword book store last week. After I paid for my books and while I was waiting for the husband to finish his shopping, I picked up a copy of A Cup Of Comfort For Friends and browsed through it. 

The book is one of those anthology from various people's lives. I generally do not enjoy such books and would never read them twice. I still bought this one because I loved the introduction, a couple of things the author said and quoted in there. I'm going to use this blog to list out some of the things that stood out for me. 

Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life - Thomas Jefferson


... we tend to squeeze each other into whatever slots are left over after the other people and responsibilities in our lives get their share.
Amazingly, our friends understand. They patiently wait their turn and graciously accept whatever time and attention we give them. They're always there when we need them, and they forgive us when we're slow to recognize their needs. Such is the nature of friendship--true friendships.


A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often--just to save it from drying out completely - author Pam Brown

Their gifts say that these lovely people love me. In the midst of their busy lives, they think of me. They've made the effort to know me, to reach out to me, to make memories with me--not out of dury or familial fate, but because they chose me. 


The story My Jar Of Self Esteem talks about a friend who helped another build her self-esteem by giving her a little jar with numerous notes telling her how she is special


The story In Praise Of Temporary Friends is about a woman who does not have any life-term friends but has learnt to appreciate all the ones that have been there while they have. 


I have always envied other women's friendships. It's not that I don't have any friends. I do. But I don't have a friend that I can call at four in the morning, who would hop on the next plane to come hold my hand through disasters great and small. I don't have a friend I've known for so many years I can't remember life without her. I don't have a friend who knows all my secrets. 


I can relate to this so well. Yet, as I read on, I realized that I was better off than her. I have had friends who have lasted me a couple of years atleast and been there for me when I needed them, kept my secrets and life was beautiful with them while they were with me. That doesn't change how I feel about friends forever. 


I wrote this blog a long while ago and forgot to post it. Am gonna post it now, without any changes. The book, while was a good read in the first few pages (to past half the book, actually), gets a little boring and dull later. It's not a repeatably readable one either. One of my give-away books.

Rumi” Whispers of the Beloved “ - Paulo Coelho

Sometimes I hate to admit it, sometimes I'm proud to say it... 2 of my favourite books are by Paulo Coelho and Richard Bach. I want to dedicate today's post to Coelho, for various reasons...

I cannot sleep in your prescence.
In your absence, tears prevent me.
You watch me My Beloved
On each sleepless night and
Only You see the difference

Looking at my life
I see that only Love
Has been my soul’s companion
From deep inside
My soul cries out:
Do not wait, surrender
For the sake of Love.

If you can’t smell the fragrance
Don’t come into the garden of Love.
If you’re unwilling to undress
Don’t enter into the stream of Truth.
Stay where you are.
Don’t come our way.

All year round the lover is mad,
Unkempt, lovesick and in disgrace.
Without love there is nothing but grief.
In love… what else matters?

Love is our Mother and
The way of our Prophet.
Yet it is in our nature
To fight with Love.
We can’t see you, mother,
Hidden behind dark veils
Woven by ourselves.

Do you want to enter paradise?
To walk the path of Truth
You need the grace of God.
We all face death in the end.
But on the way, be careful
Never to hurt a human heart!

Do you know what the music is saying?
“Come follow me and you will find the way.
Your mistakes can also lead you to the Truth.
When you ask, the answer will be given.”

The Master who’s full of sweetness
Is so drunk with love, he’s oblivious.
“Will you give me
some of your sweetness?”
“I have none,” he says,
unaware of his richness.

You know what love is?
It is all kindness, generosity.
Disharmony prevails when
You confuse lust with love, while
The distance between the two
Is endless.

This Love is a King
But his banner is hidden.
The Koran speaks the Truth
But its miracle is concealed.
Love has pierced with its arrow
The heart of every lover.
Blood flows but the wound is invisible.


Taken from PC's blog at http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/03/09/rumi-whispers-of-the-beloved/

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart by Dr. Gordon Livingston

One of my Christmas presents this year was a book called 'Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now', by Gordon Livingston, with a foreword by Elizabeth Edwards. Dr. Livingston is a physician, psychiatrist and writer. Edwards is one of those he met on an online bereaved parents forums and has drawn strength from him to reclaim her life. 

It's one of the best books I have ever read. I'm still reading it but I wanted to write about it. Dr. Livingston gives a fresh perspective to so many things. Some of the things he said were new to me, some simply surprised me by the obvious nature of it and how I'd failed to see. The chapters are named such that you only need to read the contents page for a host of quotes to think about. Edwards' foreword makes good reading, makes you wonder if you will get the same benefits out of this book that she did. 

You don't need to be suffering to read Dr. Livingston's book, he just steers you to look in another direction. Each person could get something else to take away from each chapter, often not what the title says. I tweeted one such, from each chapter of the book and am reproducing it here. I've copied from Twitter, so you need to read backwards (starting from the last occurrence of 'bumblebee' to the first, which is from chapter 18).

bumblebee Ch18. There is nothing more pointless, or common, than doing the same things and expecting different results! bumblebee ...hope, chance, intuition, and a willingness to be surprised.  


bumblebee (contd) Often it is the dalliances and the detours that define us. There are no maps to guide our most important searches; we must rely on...  


bumblebee  Ch16. Though a straight line appears to be the shortest distance between two points, life has a way of confounding geometry. (contd)  


bumblebee Ch15. The process of building has always been slower and more complicated (i.e. less immediately satisfying) than that of destruction.  


bumblebee (contd)... people fall out of love, the demands for explanation are insistent.  


bumblebee  Ch14. It seems ironic that when people fall in love, no justification for their attachment is necessary. When, on the other hand... (contd)  


bumblebee Instead I ask them to examine what it is that has so far dissuaded them from killing themselves.  


bumblebee Ch13 Suicide is the ultimate expression of preoccupation with self. When confronted with a suicidal person I dont try to talk them out of it...  


bumblebee ... of inestimable value to those who survive us.  


bumblebee Ch12. (Old age) If we can retain our good humor and interest in others even as the curtain closes, we'll have contributed something...  


bumblebee Ch11. We simply pay too much attention to words - ours and others' - and not enough to the actions that actually define us.  


bumblebee ...our different roles demand different attitudes.  


bumblebee ...worker, partner, parent, friend, is a challenge. We think of ourselves as the same person whatever we may be doing at the moment. But...  


bumblebee Ch10. A certain amt of compartmentalization in necessary to succeed in different areas of our lives. Juggling our mutual responsibilities...  


bumblebee Ch9. Life is a gamble in which we don't get to deal the cards, but are nevertheless obligated to play them to the best of our ability.  


bumblebee The best hope is to introduce them to the paradox of perfection: in some settings (relationships), we gain control only by relinquishing it.  


bumblebee ... can render them insufferable in their personal lives. To be less controlling in their jobs would render them ineffective.  


bumblebee Ch8. The problem with perfectionists and their pre-occupation with control is that the qualities that make them effective in their work...  


bumblebee Ch7. I did my best to fit in. I just got tired of it.  


bumblebee (contd)... to alter their behaviour in ways that allow them to exert greater control over their lives.  


bumblebee Ch6. While medication can provide crucial, sometimes live-saving relief, people also have an obligation... (contd)  


bumblebee Ch5. While it takes two people to create a relationship, it only takes one to end it.  


bumblebee Ch4 Finally, if a person I'm talking to appears wedded determinedly to the past and unwilling to contemplate a better future, I grow impatient.  


bumblebee Ch3. Many are the ways that parents instill a sense of obligation in their children. In fact, our children owe us nothing.  


bumblebee Ch2. He says, "Past behaviour is the most reliable predictor of future behaviour" What about when people change? How do we acknowledge that?  


bumblebee Ch2: We love someone when the importance of his or her needs and desires (to us) rises to the level of our own.  


bumblebee Ch1: If the map doesn't agree with the ground, the map is wrong.  


bumblebee 18 chapters. Want to write one best line from each. Let me try. It's gonna be harder when there are more than one lines...

Maybe when I'm done with the book, I'll pull out a line from the rest of the chapters. 

You can read this book as many times as you want and still be touched by it. The quotes above won't spoil the book for you, if you ever mean to read it, just like Dr. Livingston's titles didn't change what I would take away from his observations. 

I'll end this by quoting one of the reviewers/readers of Dr. Livingston's book(s). Mark Helprin, author of the books A Soldier Of The Great War and Winter's Tale says about Dr. Gordon Livingston, "To read him is to trust him and to learn, for his life has been touched by fire, and his motives are absolutely pure."

Twist A Cliche

Becky Clark, in her blog (http://www.beckyclark.net/page2.html), says it's time to twist some cliches... she picks some & gives us the first half. I'm trying to complete them, let's see how I do.

Don't judge a book by its __________ (author, it might be good)

It's the squeaky wheel that __________ (makes noise)

Nothing ventured, __________ (time saved)

A penny saved is __________ (a penny to spend another day)

People who live in glass houses __________ (must be rich, marry them)

If you can't beat 'em, __________ (run for your life)

A hole big enough to __________ (dump in)

When in Rome __________ (shop in Paris)

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man __________ (a disciplined weirdo)

Two's company, three's a __________ (bigger company

If the shoe fits, __________ (wear it)

All good things come to those who __________ (are walking towards it, in the opposite direction)

Life Shouldn't Be A Journey To The Grave...

I don't know who deserves the credit for saying this but I find it really worth a mention.

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive & well-preserved body
But rather skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming "Woo Hoo"

I have it on my Office Communicator as a 'Note' and also on my signature. Not surprisingly, it seems to have caught quite a few people's attention. Guess what? It also got me a free beer date for next week. I can't help wondering how nice it would be if all my beer-loving friends made me this offer... I could have free beers for the rest of the year, without any worries. Greed strikes!

Quotables

• "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride!"
• The success of a lightly tossed off joke lies not in the tongue of the teller but in the ear of the hearer.
• Time can make us forget some memories, but there would be some memories which make us forget the time and those make the life worthwhile....
• The only things you really own are your actions
• I hate people who steal of my ideas even before I can think of them
• Mark Twain once said - "Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time."
• You're supposed to trust friends. You have no reason to be his friend? That is part of the pleasure of friendship: trusting without absolute evidence and then being rewarded for that trust. David Shore, House M.D., Not Cancer, 2008
• "Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it.
• Believing a solution paves the way to solution" in 'Magic of thinking Big' by David Schwartz
• For oft, when on my couch I lie
  In vacant or in pensive mood,
  They flash upon that inward eye
  Which is the bliss of solitude;
  And then my heart with pleasure fills,
  And dances with the daffodils.
• People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing -- that's why we recommend it daily.
• It's not the mountain ahead that wears me out but the pebbles at my shoes - Mohammed Ali
• The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it
• Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian
• You see things and you say, "Why?" I dream things that never were and I say, "Why not?" - Bernard Shaw
• Life’s filled with possibilities
  That challenge us each day… To take a chance
  Try something new… See things in a different way
  And as it’s through, we learn to change and grow
  To explore who we are and what we know
  For it’s not until we try
  That we find out – WHAT WE CAN DO…
• The ability to change is a second chance to succeed
• Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference
• Never argue with fools; First they bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience!
• Guard your heart above anything else you have, because it determines the kind of life you will live.
• Brian Hartzer: "It’s about removing barriers to their success by giving them the resources they need, reducing bureaucracy, and making sure that your processes and the way you measure and reward success lines up with what you’re asking them to do."
• A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him/her
• Some people don’t look up until they're flat on their backs.
• A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out.
• The difference between democracy and dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later, in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting
• "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt" - Bertrand Russell
• Sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow...
  We must fail in order to know...
  We must lose in order to gain...
  Because some lessons are best learned through pain
• "Stay away from the pigsty if you don’t want to stink."
• "Good manners are spoiled by wrong relationships; don’t make friends with pigs!"
• "I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Sir Winston Churchill, attr.
• Two thoughts decide your attitude - (1) What you think of yourself when you don't have anything (2) What you think of others when you have everything
• Never explain yourself to anyone - the one who likes you doesn't need it and the one who dislikes you won't believe it
• If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side
• The pain of discipline is much better than the price of regret
• Execution is the missing link between Aspirations and Results
• Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence..
• If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
• An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
• Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
• A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
• The first myth of management is that it exists.
• Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
• The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.
• Walt Whitman's beautiful words: "The habit of giving enhances the desire to give."
• When you see good work, say it, and say it from the heart, just as you thought it. Free up the thought, and let it breathe - let it fly out there in the form of generous words, and watch what you get back. Giving is ultimately sharing.
• Worrying is like a rocking chair, sure it gives you something to do, but in the end you never get anywhere - Dorothy Galyean
• Never argue with fools. First they bring you down to their level. Then they beat you with experience.
• A great woman - Marianne Williamson once said: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us; it's not just in some of us, it's in all of us. And when we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same"
• If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z; x is Work, y is Play and z is keeping your mouth shut
• As a child, a library card takes you to exotic faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it - Sam Ewing
• "When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity"
• Motivation is like fire; Unless you add fuel to it, it dies
• Being employable is better than being employed
• Life is not about how to survive the storm but how to dance in the rain!
• "It’s not the strongest of the species that survives, not the most intelligent but the one most responsive to change" - Charles Darwin, Origin of Species
• A man can't ride your back unless it's bent
• The only person who can limit your growth is YOU
• It's amazing what you can accomplish, if you do not care who gets the credit - Harry S Truman
• Don't limit your challenges; Challenge your limits
• Murphy's Law of Work: There is never enough time to do it right the first time; there is always enough time to do it over!
• I've learned that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss
• I've learned that to ignore facts does not change the facts
• If you want to see the rainbow, you need to put up with some rain!
• "We should not let success go to our heads, or our failures go to our hearts"
• As I look forward, I'm very optimistic about the things I see ahead. As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others
• To work without attachment is to work without the expectation of reward or fear of any punishment in this world or the next. Work so done is a means to the end, and God is the end.
• You learn more about a person in 1 hour of play, than in 1 year of conversation - courtesy EJ
• "When you have eliminate all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth" - Sherlock Holmes
• If you can't love someone without feeling afraid, it's time to get out of the relationship - fast
• Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge embraces all we now know and understand, but imagination embraces all there will ever be to know and understand.
• If we cannot do great things, we can do small things in a great way
• "It is the cheerful mind that is persevering. It is the strong mind that hews its way through a thousand difficulties" - Swami Vivekananda
• "It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do." - Moliere
• If you're bored with life -- you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things -- you don't have enough goals.
• "The Greatest Gift you can give someone is your time, Because when you are giving someone your time, You are giving them a portion of your life that you will never get back."
• "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" - Maria Robinson
• One of my favourite quotes about growth goes like this: "Some people look at a glass and see it as half empty.
• Others look at the glass and see it as half full. I look at it and say the glass isn't big enough."
• I have not failed 100 times, I have just found 100 ways that won't work
• Growth is sustained by creating room to grow
• The hours your work are not as important as what you put in those hours.
• David Cartwright – Group Managing Director, Operations, Technology and Shared Services
  I know I have only been here a very short time, however I figure that puts me in the ideal position to offer an outsider's view.

Beautiful

To quote James Allen, "Let there be nothing within thee that is not very beautiful and very gentle, and there will be nothing without thee that is not beautiful and softened by the spell of thy presence."

Think positive

Everything happens twice. Once in your mind. Then in your reality.

If you think you cannot do it, you are right.

Funny thing about life...

If you want something badly enough, there's always a way to get it! Happiness is where you find it, rarely where you seek it.

Rip 'em quotes

Didn't someone say persistence really pays? I bet it was a woman! When I'm persistent, my man says I'm nagging. What's in a name, Shakespeare asked. He's right. No matter what you call it - persistence or nagging... it works just the same!

So what's new, you ask? Let's just say I discovered the exception to the rule. It doesn't always work. I learnt this the hard way. Here's an example. No matter how many blogs I write, I still can't get one good piece in order. Sigh! That's not the 'hard way' I was talking about but we won't go into that. I will spare you the misery of reading my stories meant for Agony Aunt.

I lost the thoughts in my head that threaded into a lovely blog. No matter how much I persist, I can't seem to string the words together again, so I give up. I was never a giver-up, mind you. I was forced to learn that the hard way too. No, I won't talk you down that road either.

Murphy rocks! He popped some of the most flawless laws ever! If you want all of it in one place, visit http://www.murphys-laws.com/. It's also got some amazing extensions, addendums and new ones by contributors. Here are some for a quick read.

• If anything can go wrong, it will (extension: it will be all your fault, and everyone will know it)
• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse (out of sight, out of mind)
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
• Mother nature is a bitch (addendum: and not an obedient one at that)
• Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse
• It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious (this one is my favourite)
• Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first (and that's why I never get any work done)
• After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original (hmm... I've been looking for...)
• No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper (bingo!)
• There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over (isn't that how most software projects go?)
• When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate (stuff leaders are made of)
• Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening (e.g. ice-cream)
• Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules
• Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet (last week I lost my soap)
• Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone. The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress. (Moral: Play alone. Always.)
• A knowledge of Murphy's Law is no help in any situation (saved my blog, don't you think?)
• If you apply Murphy's Law, it will no longer be applicable (if you apply an ointment, it will no longer be applicable. So, what's your point?)

And I'll end with one last - "If Murphy's law is right then it will go wrong"

Oh, by the way, check out the new Bumblebee Quips, would you? Here's how you get there... http://bumblebee-quips.blogspot.com/. Some of you have been invited to be authors in the blog, please make use of the honour accorded to you ;)

Time flies...

It's unlike the flight of a bird, graceful & joyous but minutes racing past as if to challenge your efforts to restrain it!