Scott Adams AQUA'd

I read a blog post by Scott Adams today and was pleased to read some of the reader comments. I do not hate Scott Adams. In fact I love reading his blogs. Some of his arguments can be quite stimulating. There is the occasional streak humour or an insightful piece. Not to forget the follow-up discussions from readers that are an important aspect of his blog - a must read. Then there are ones like today's post. Other than the fact that it seemed to go places, I found this bit rather itchy. Read the original post - 'Principled or Stupid' - if you like because I only focus on one bit in this article.

The premise: Suppose you were driving along a long stretch of desert, low on gas and saw a gas station (that you've vowed never to buy gas from because they are unethical weasels) along the road with a sign that said it was the last gas station for the next 100 miles, would you buy gas from them (against your principle) or would you prefer to drive past the station, run out of gas and eventually die in the desert. 

The question: If you chose to die, are you stupid or principled?

An aside: For the sake of argument, we will assume that they are telling the truth, unethical weasels though they may be.

I know of people who will jump up and claim that they would rather die than go against principle. Would they really do it is not the question here. It is a hypothetical situation, so I will buy their argument for the moment. If you are like me, you will admit that you would buy the gas and get on with life. 

What I noticed on the comments in Adam's blog was that the first person who put in his 2 cents worth said the argument was specious (I just learnt the word, click here if you are like me). Of course, he meant it in the context of the entire post, not just the bit I refer to in my blog. The interesting thing is that he did not simply jump on Adam's bandwagon and try to answer the question. He questioned its validity. More often than not, people read the comments as they scroll down to post their own and in the process are influenced by what the first few readers have said. As a first reader comment, it improved the value of the write-up by adding one more dimension to the discussions that follow. 

This reminded me of a stand-up comedy show that I watched last week - Arj Barker's Let Me Do The Talking. He did the talking alright - was not one of those comedians who have people strategically placed  in the audience to yell out something that will lead to another joke. Quite a few of his jokes were long-ish and we had to listen to the story before we laughed. In other words, the audience laughed, listened, laughed again, listened again. Unlike Danny Bhoy (who I loved) where the audience kept laughing all the way through till you could laugh no more and probably even pee'd in your pants. 

I digress. Back to why I was reminded of Arj Barker. He narrated a few anecdotes explaining how people simply do things without questioning the validity. His take on that is to follow AQUA - Always Question Unvalidated Authority. For example,

Airhostess: Sir, please switch off your mobile while you are in the plane. 

Someone: Why? 

Airhostess: Because the door of the aircraft is now closed. 

Someone: Ok.  You need to switch off your mobile, the door of the aircraft is closed.

Barker could not see why the cell phone had to be switched off? What did the text message have anything to do with the door of the aircraft. Whoever heard of a plane crashing because of a text message? 

(Again, for the sake of the story, we will refrain from various reasonable arguments that could lead us elsewhere and pretend that everything Barker says makes sense)

A couple more similar anecdotes and he commented along the lines of 'I would really like to pull my pants down and take a dump right there, in response to such absurdity where I cannot get a reasonable answer to the why'. In other words, AQUA.

The audience laughed. He picked up a guitar that was on the stage since the start of the show and requested to be allowed to sing a few lines. He started off by asking the 1500-strong audience to raise their hands and start clapping. The audience obliged.

"STOP STOP STOP!", he screamed.

He could not believe that after all that he rambled about AQUA, the audience blindly conceded to his request to put up their hands and start clapping. 

What I would have really liked is to find 1500 piles of smoking, stinking crap in the room and no people. Then I would know you guys listened to what I just said. 

Clearly, Adam's first comment followed AQUA. The reader left a pile of dump in response to the specious post. I am sure Arj Barker will be proud of him.

Bullied By A Box

If you have used (or still use) Microsoft, you know about the innumerable patches they seem to force us to download every day or other, threatening that the current software would not work otherwise. One such day incident interrupted my beautiful life.

There is this little blue chip flashing at the bottom right corner of my screen, saying "Hello, look at me, click on me, get your updates. Do it now. Do it now! Do it NOW! DO IT NOW!"

With a gun to my head, I click on the 'Get Updates' button and allow MS to download all the updates it wants to. Everyone is happy now. Right? Wrong. 

You must restart your computer for the changes to take effect, MS says. 

I am in the middle of a very important status update on Twitter. Or maybe I was writing a blog. Or reading one. In any case, I do not want to restart right now. 

"Fuck you", I say as I close the window. 

A few seconds later, a message pops up discreetly, at the bottom right corner of my screen. It warns me that it will restart the computer, unless I notice it accidentally and set a time that it should wait for before reminding me again. 

Remind me after 10 minutes, I clicked, and went back to whatever (un)important activity I was involved in. Choosing a theme for my Twitter homepage.

Five minutes later, the little blue window appears again, taking up a quiet corner of my screen, so that I don't notice it and it can restart because I did not select on the remind me option again. I'm too smart and sharp for a dick-head computer, you moron! 

Remind me after 10 minutes, I click again, laughing inwardly at the computer's stupidity, for I intended to do exactly the same thing in another 10 minutes. Whatever happened next, I did not see it coming... Although, now that I think of it, why didn't I?

All hell breaks lose after that. MS gets irritated. The screen goes blank. When the screen comes back on, couple of windows flash on and off. It threatens to close my windows but, thankfully, it doesn't. The screen goes blank again. A few seconds of tantrums before everything is back on and things go quiet. 

I mean, really quiet. Really, really, fucking quiet! I click on a tab on Chrome and it refuses to budge. It won't tell me if it's doing anything. It will not even acknowledge that I clicked on something. A few frustrated clicks and it comes to life. Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, it starts to shift from one thing to another, pretending to be dragging itself to action one click of mine to another, while all I can do is watch and wait. I dare not click again, for it will insist on heading there too, before it will let me do anything else. Finally, I think it has covered all my clicks and I can click one more time to get to where I want to actually go. 

Hell, no! Windows flashing again, switching tabs, more tantrums. Somewhere in the midst of all this, I've hit the 'Start' button, so the menu pops up. I can hover all I want but it won't select an option. Maybe it would have, if I had waited another century! 

Silence again.

Okay, I give up. I'll let you restart. Show me what you have got, I'll hit the right buttons. The buttons YOU think are right, I mean!

Yes, I am mighty pissed! Can you blame me? I am supposed to be the master of my computer. How can a dumb-fuck machine tell me what to do? Yet, here it is. Bullying me. Throwing me ultimatums - Either you restart me or you can stare at my screen like an idiot, unable to do anything.

I click on the little light blue icon again, mentally cursing, the angriest words popping in my head. I'm too scared to speak out aloud and offend the stubborn monster in front of me. 

Why does it give me the option of restarting later if it won't allow me to do anything until I restart? Why the lie? I didn't refuse to restart, merely said to wait a bit. If you cannot apply the updates until I restart, so be it. Let me just work with the old version until I am ready to restart. What is your bloody problem, Mother?

Now, where was I? Oh yes, I click on the evil blue icon. Nothing happens. What the??! What now? I have accepted defeat. I want to restart now so I can get on with my pathetic life. What is the problem? It seems to take pleasure in torturing me. After what seemed like ages, during which I was terrified of clicking on the icon (or anywhere else) again and so waited patiently (seething inside), the small window quietly comes up on my screen. Restart, I clicked hastily, before it would disappear on me and taunt me for not being quick enough!

You would think the computer would just shut down all the windows (@#$*$##@^&*@#) and restart. Think again! After being such a bully and forcing me to abandon whatever I was doing, in favour of restarting my session, the fella wants to make up. 

Now that I've had my way, let me be nice to you, you poor little idiot. (I'm pretty sure that's what it was thinking)

The screen lists all the sessions I have open, with two buttons at the bottom asking if I want to Cancel or Force Restart. What a joke! If you are thinking it's waiting for me to make my choice, try again! It knocks off one item after another on my list anyway, closing windows as I watch powerlessly. 

When it stopped a few windows later, I click on Force Restart, ignoring the cautionary warning in italics just above the button. It says that if I force restart my machine, I will lose all unsaved data. How funny! Don't I know that? 

Are you sure you want to Force Restart? You will lose all unsaved data. Click cancel to go back to your session.

I am paraphrasing here, of course, but really! Really! Is that even an option? If I cancelled whatever it is that you want to do, will you really let me continue to work in peace? Even if that were remotely true (I don't believe it for a moment, by the way), what about all those windows that you just closed? There was nothing to save there but for God's sakes, I need those damn windows open to continue what I was doing!!

Seriously, what option do I have? So, I authorize it to forcibly close all my windows and restart. As it proceeds to kill my sessions, I can almost see it smiling. The Evil Grin of a victor. The ruffian cruelly forced me to act against my wishes, yet made it look as if I authorized it. What better way to win than humiliate your opponent as he helplessly wriggles under the strength of your grip, especially a mental one?

A lovely way to begin my weekend. I can't wait to experience the rest of it! (Hint: sarcasm)

Toilet Signs

We've all seen graffiti on the walls and back of doors of public toilets. Off late, it appears to be common practice to put up notices - posters, print-outs - appealing to people to keep it clean, flush the toilets, etc. I even saw those in Singapore which is, by far, the cleanest city I've been to. That's understandable... public toilets are used by so many people, some of them think it's "unclean" to touch the flush buttons/handles, etc. Yuck but hell, it's true!

I have found it rather disgusting that this has been a necessity at many offices. It's shocking! Educated professionals, why do you need to be told? 

So, when I did not find such a note up in the 'ladies room' at my new workplace, I was pleased. Enough to notice it. There was another note, though. Rather strange. 

New airlock flushes. Please press button hard.

I nearly laughed. Until I tried to press the button and realized what they meant. Yeah, if it was not for the note, the place might stink. I mean, seriously, you need mammoth strength to get this thing working. Whoa!

I don't know if I had missed it earlier or it was only put up recently but I noticed another instruction yesterday. A printout on the door. It started with a cheery 'hello ladies' and continued to say that this was a reminder for us to keep the place clean... yada yada yada. Then, the real message. I don't have the exact words here but it is pretty much this

Please flush after using the toilets and check to ensure that it has worked

I struggled to control my laughter. Imagine a woman laughing by herself in the restroom,  my colleagues would think I'm mad and it is far too early for them to know that! Every time I walk into the restroom, I have to rush in because it is hard not to laugh and that makes me want to pee. LOL!

iPad 2007 Vs iPad 2010

When the iPad was announced and through the initial days of it's launch, anybody with an opinion about the iPad or Apple wrote a review. Most of them were technical but I managed to find a few reviews which had enough layman English in them for a technically-challenged soul like me to understand. In fact, I wrote a post myself, just to prove to no one in particular that I could. 

While the craze has been subsiding gently, there are still people out there buying iPads. Those who do, or already have, are showing off their prize gadgets, irrespective of what the technophiles opine. No matter what the reviews, Apple has been able to sell their shiny new toy to a fair deal of satisfaction, if reports are to be believed. 

While reading another blog on the internet, I found a link on one of the comments that led me to this piece. A woman's review of an iPad. Why is it special? Why am I stressing on the 'woman'? For one, there is a dearth of posts from women on this topic. For another, this blog solely concentrates on a woman's viewpoint of the iPad. This one is, by far, my favourite write-up on this topic. It is humorous yet all true and meaningful. I found myself nodding at almost every aspect she has covered. I clicked on the links in her post and I did not regret that for a moment. They just add to the fun angle. 

A Woman's iPad Review: It's Not Just The Name That Stinks

She had me, from the word go. First, the title. Bang on. Read the review. There are a few things you simply cannot miss. I will try to point you in that direction here. 

You can give the link about 85% consumer purchases a miss. Make sure you click on the MadTV link, though. It explains the blog-title even better. It is fun. Once you watch the video, you will never be able to hear the word iPad without... umm... I think I should just let you watch it, eh? 

At times she rambles, especially where she is whining about the health hazards to her fingers and palms. I suggest you forgive her for that (she is a woman, remember) and keep reading. I absolutely love the way she ends her blog. You have to give it to her for that! Perfect summary. Well-put. Sort of. I mean, I was really tickled. I wish I could write like her... the title, the links, the post and the ending all tie into each other so well. All that, without deviating from the content and the flavour of humour blended nicely into it. 

The more I read, the more I find that the most exciting thing about the iPad, for me, is reading what everyone has to say about it. I do not think I would every buy one. That said, if you wanted to buy me an iPad...

PS. My Blogger spell-checker, with UK-English option set, does not recognize iPad as a valid dictionary word. Yet.

A Glass-ful of Juice

Like a dutiful wife tending to her invalid husband (pun intended), I opened the fridge to get a glass of juice that my mother had made for him this morning. The juice was in a tall jug with a lid that you only need to lift up, to open. Easy peasy. I got a tall glass from the kitchen, took out the jug and tried to prise the lid open. It would not open. Try as I might but it refused to open.

I put the glass on the top of the fridge (yes, I'm taller than my fridge; by many inches). Now I try to prise the lid open with one hand as I hold the jug in the other hand. I cannot hold it too tight, you realize, for the lid might open and spill the contents. I am very careful that way. Struggle as I might, the stubborn red contraption that holds the juice in the long transparent jar will not budge. 

A few minutes later, plenty of variations of the f-word run through my head, as I look for ways to get the liquid out without spilling it contents or mutilating the jug. I can not say those aloud for fear of ticking off the husband who, by the way, is still waiting for his glass of juice. Patiently, I dare say. 

Finally, I manage it. Don't ask me how, I cannot remember now. I was almost delirious with joy when I got it open. The liquid was not so much liquid after all. It was thick. Like gravy. 'Carrot juice, hmmph', I muttered and proceeded to pour the juice into the glass. 

Now, let me explain that I am a really careful person. I would hate to spill things on the floor, so if I even had the slightest idea that what I'm pouring out of a container could spill, I would be standing over the sink making the transfer. I do that with tea in the mornings. On the rare occasions that I pour tea from the tea-pot to the cup, I mean.

The juice was like thick gravy, so I stood there with the jug and poured it into the glass, over the fridge. The next thing I know, a hug blob of almost-solid 'juice' dropped into the glass, liquid juice came rushing out, filled the glass, overflowed onto the top of the fridge, flowed down into the pockets of the fridge cover, rushed down the front of the door of the fridge, over my hundreds of fridge magnets, on to the floor. Splash! I'm standing there stunned, a glass full of juice in one hand and a jug with barely any juice in the other and plenty of juice all over the dining room. 

My husband cannot stop laughing. Yeah, you think it is funny to? Grrrr. As I glare at him, all he can say is, "You should be happy I am not angry and yelling at you right now". Beat that!

I am not even sure where to start cleaning. I went over to the wash-basin to wet a piece of cloth. There's juice in my hair too. How did that happen? Oh well! I hate carrot juice, I hate carrot juice! How is it the fault of the carrot juice, you're thinking. Well, if it had not created the appearance of being semi-solid in the first place, I would not have tried to pour it into the glass in the dining room. Makes sense? 

Mum walked in, calling out to me, as I was cleaning up. She demands to know what happened. I told her I had spilled carrot juice and explained how it happened. She gives me an incredulous look and says, "It is not carrot, it is melon". Thank you, that explains everything. 

Shield Of Justice: Margaret Series 2

I told you that it is a really long email. I've been reading it since yesterday and I am only half-way through! Here is another snippet. It is a classic, I swear! I just had to post it here, it would be a sin not to share it.


You don't know me, right? You're aware, perhaps, that my hair's bright red, you know I've got some Web space, you have a certain suspicion that in quiet moments I speculate on what it must be like to be rubbed all over with a Nastassja Kinski - but that's it. It's not like, say, we've being going out with each other for something over sixteen years and have had two children and decorated a landing together. Given that, let me place before you a scenario: You are leaving the house to go shopping for a number of hours. Just before you go, you poke your face towards me (I, hunched and unblinking, am playing a computer game of the most frantic and intricate kind) and say, 'If it starts to rain, get the washing in off the line.'


Now, you know what's going to happen, don't you? You've never even met me, and yet you know what's going to happen. So if Margret, with whom I've lived for well over a decade and a half, doesn't bother to employ painfully basic foresight to see what's obviously going to happen... well, the Shield Of Justice is mine, I reckon.


It is about things this guy and his girlfriend quarrel about, remember? Now you see why it has been unread for the last year? I'll let you know when I finish. A few months down the line.

You've Flooded The Kitchen, You Idiot: Margaret Series 1

I was reading an email that my husband forwarded to me over a years ago. Don't ask me why it took so long to read it. Oh well, ask me. It is because the email is that long! Coming back to the email...

Among other things, this bit I liked best. Oh, by the way, the subject of the email was 'Things my girlfriend and I argue about'

Margret flooded the kitchen last week. Turned the taps on, put the plug in the sink, and utterly forgot about it (because she'd come upstairs and we'd got involved in an unrelated argument). She goes back downstairs, opens the door and - whoosh - it's Sea World. The interesting thing about this is, if I'd flooded the kitchen, it would have been a bellowing, 'You've flooded the kitchen, you idiot!' and then she'd have done that thing where I curl up in a ball, trying to protect my head, and she kicks me repeatedly in the kidneys. As it was, however, there's a shout, I run downstairs and stand for a beat in the doorway - taking in the scene, waves lapping gently at my ankles - and she turns round and roars, 'Well, help me then - can't you see I've flooded the kitchen, you idiot?'

Yes, go on, say what you are thinking.

Shortest Stories - Susheel Sandeep (Translated to English by suholla)

I learnt first-hand that it is not easy to translate text across languages and retain the flavour from the original. It gets even tougher when you do not have mastery over either languages. I have made a weak attempt at translating one of my guest blogs, from Kannada into English.

While I am not entirely pleased with the results, I am not totally embarrassed by it either. Susheel's attempts at 'shortest stories' and my attempts at translation...

೧. "ಮೇನಕೆಯ ಶುಭ್ರಶ್ವೇತ ವಸ್ತ್ರಗಳು ಇನ್ನೂ ಮರದಬುಡದಲ್ಲೇ ಬಿದ್ದಿತ್ತು"

Menaka's spotless white clothes. Still lying at the bottom of the tree

೨. ಒಣಗಿದ ಜಮೀನಿನ ಮಧ್ಯದಲ್ಲ್ಲಿಬಿದ್ದಿದ್ದ ಮುದುಕ ಮುದ್ದೇಗೌಡನ ಶವ ಆಗಸದೆಡೆಗೆ ಇನ್ನೂ ಆಸೆಯ ನೋಟ ಬೀರುತ್ತಲೇ ಇತ್ತು.

Old Mudde Gowda's corpse lies in the middle of a barren farm-land. There is still desire in the eyes.

೩. ವಿಪರ್ಯಾಸ : ರಾಜ್ಯ ಮಟ್ಟದ ಮ್ಯಾರಾಥಾನ್‍ ಸ್ಪರ್ಧೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಚಿನ್ನದ ಪದಕ ಗಳಿಸಿದ್ದವನಿಂದು ಉಪ್ಪಾರಪೇಟೆ ಪೋಲೀಸ್ ಸ್ಟೇಷನ್ನಿನ ಕ್ರೈಂ ಬ್ರಾಂಚಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಹೆಡ್ ಕಾನ್ಸ್ಟೇಬಲ್ ಆಗಿದ್ದಾನೆ.

Co-Incidence: The gold medal winner of the state level marathon is now a head constable in  the Upparpet Police Station

೪. ಕೇಡುಗಾಲ : ಅವರೆಲ್ಲರೂ ಸಹಬಾಳ್ವೆ ನಡೆಸುತ್ತಾ ಸುಖವಾಗಿರುವಾಗಲೇ, ಗೂಗಲ್ ಆರ್ಕುಟ್ಟನ್ನು ಮಾರಿಬಿಡುವ ಹೊಂಚು ಹಾಕಿತು.

Bad Times: Just when everyone starts living in harmony, Google conspires to sell Orkut.

೫. ಸುನಾಮಿ : ದಿನಾವೂ ಶಾಂತವಾಗಿ ಸಂಜೆ ಸೂರ್ಯನನ್ನು ನುಂಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಕಡಲು ಇಂದೇಕೋ ರಚ್ಚೆ ಹಿಡಿದ ಮಗುವಿನಂತೆ ವಾಕರಿಸುತ್ತಿದೆ!

Tsunami: The calm sea that swallows the sun every evening, behaving like a kid throwing tantrums

೬. ಮೊದಲೇ ಲೇಟಾಗಿದೆ, ಅವಸರವಸರವಾಗಿ ಹಲ್ಲುಜ್ಜಿಕೊಂಡು ಸೊರ್ರನೆ ಕಾಫಿ ಹೀರಿದೆ;

ಬೇಗ ಶೇವ್ ಮಾಡಿಬಿಡೋಣಾಂತ ಕೆನ್ನೆಗೆ ಬ್ರಶ್ ತಗುಲಿಸಿದಾಗ ಯಾಕೋ ಏನೋ ಕ್ಲೋಸಪ್ ವಾಸನೆ ಬರ್ತಿದೆ!

Already late, brushed in a hurry and gulped down my coffee;

Am about to shave, touched the brush to my cheeks, and I smell Close-Up!

೭. ಪದ-ಪದಗಳ ನಡುವೆ ನಾಮಪದಗಳ ತುರುಕಿ ಕ್ರಿಯಾಪದಗಳ ಸೇರಿಸಿ ಆಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಅವರಿಬ್ಬರಿಗೂ ಆ ಪದಗಳು ಕೇವಲ 'ಪದ'ಗಳಾಗಿ ಉಳಿಯದೆ 'ಪದ್ಯ'ವಾಗಿದ್ದರ ಅರಿವೇ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ!

A proper noun was shoved among a couple of nouns and when an adjective joined them in play, the nouns stopped being words and became a poem, even before they realized it!

೮. ನೆನಪಿಗೂ ಮರೆವಿಗೂ ಮದುವೆಯಾಗಿದ್ದನ್ನು ಅವನು ಮರೆತುಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ. ಅವಳು ನೆನಪಿಸುತ್ತಲೇ ಇದ್ದಳು!

Remember and Forget got married. He forgot. She kept reminding him.

೯. ಬಾಂಬು ಬಾಂಬೆಂದು ಬೊಬ್ಬೆ ಹೊಡೀತಿದ್ದ ಜನರ ಮಧ್ಯೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಲೈವ್ ಕವರೇಜ್ ಮಾಡಬೇಕಿದ್ದ ಟಿವಿ9 ವರದಿಗಾರ್ತಿಯೊಬ್ಬಳಿಗೆ ತಕ್ಷಣಕ್ಕೆ ಮ್ಯಾಚಿಂಗ್ ಬ್ಲೌಸ್ ಸಿಗದಾಯಿತು!!!

The TV9 journalist who had to do a live coverage of the mob screaming 'Bomb! Bomb!' couldn't find a matching blouse for her saree!!!

೧೦. "ಹಲೋ...ಹುಷಾರಾಗಿ ಊರು ತಲುಪಿಕೊಂಡ್ಯಾ?ನಾಯಂಡಹಳ್ಳಿ ಹತ್ರ ಮೈಸೂರ್ ರೋಡ್ ಬ್ಲಾಕ್ ಅಂತಿದ್ರು, ನಿಂಗೇನೂ ತೊಂದ್ರೆ ಆಗ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ ತಾನೆ?ಅಮ್ಮ ಹುಷಾರಾಗಿ ಬಂದ್ರ?"; "ಸ್ಸಾರಿ....ರಾಂಗ್ ನಂಬರ್"

"Hello… Did you reach safely? I heard Mysore Road was blocked, near Nayandahalli. Did you manage without any problems? Did mom reach there safe?"; "Sorry… wrong number"

೧೧. ಕರಿಮಲೆಯ ಕಗ್ಗತ್ತಲಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಸುಂಯ್‍ಗುಡುವ ಕುಳಿರ್ಗಾಳಿಯಲ್ಲೇ, ಉಳಿದಿದ್ದ ಆ ಕಡೇ ಬೆಂಕಿಕಡ್ಡಿಯನ್ನು ಆಕೆ ಗೀರಿಯೇಬಿಟ್ಟಳು...

A dark mountain, pitch dark, a cool breeze, and she struck the last match...

೧೨. ಬಕ್ರೀದಿಗಾಗಿ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿಗೆ ಬಂದಿದ್ದೊಂಟೆಯೊಂದು ಬಿಸ್ಲೇರಿಯಿಲ್ಲದೆ ಬಾಯಾರಿ ಬಳಲಿ ಬೆಂಡಾಗಿ ಕಡೆಗೆ ಬೆನ್ನ ಮೇಲಿನ ಡುಬ್ಬದ ನೀರು ಕುಡಿದು ಸುಮ್ಮನಾಯಿತು!!!

A camel that came visiting Bengaluru, for Bakrid, was compelled to drink his 'storage water', for want of Bisleri!!!

೧೩. ಮೈತುಂಬ ಸಾಲ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದವನಿಗೆ ಬಂಪರ್ ಲಾಟರಿ ಹೊಡೆದು ಅಹೋರಾತ್ರಿ ಕೋಟ್ಯಾಧಿಪತಿಯಾಗಿಬಿಟ್ಟ.

A man who was swamped in loans won a Bumper Lottery and became a millionaire overnight.

೧೪. ಪ್ರಕಟಣೆ: ಹುಡುಕಿಕೊಟ್ಟವರಿಗೆ ಇಪ್ಪತ್ತೈದು ಸಾವಿರ ರೂಪಾಯಿ ನಗದು ಬಹುಮಾನ.

Announcement: Finders will be rewarded Rs. 25000.

೧೫. ಮೌನ ಮಾತಾದಾಗ :

...

... ...

... ... ...

'ಆಫೀಸಿಗೆ ಹೊತ್ತಾಯ್ತು ಬೇಗೆದ್ದು ಹೊರಡ್ಬೇಕಂತೆ ಅನ್ನು ನಿಮ್ಮಪ್ಪಂಗೆ'

When silence speaks:

...

... ...

... ... ...

"It's getting late. Ask your dad to wake up and go to work"

೧೬. 'ಹಾಲುಂಡ ತವರು' ಸಿನಿಮಾ ನೋಡಿದವಳು ಕಣ್ಣೊರಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾ ತನ್ನ ಗಂಡನಿಗೆ ಫೋನಾಯಿಸಿ "ಈ ವೀಕೆಂಡ್ ನಿಮ್ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ನಿಮ್ಮಪ್ಪಾಮ್ಮನ್ನ ಮಾತಾಡಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಬರೋಣಾ ಕಣ್ರೀ" ಅಂದ್ಲು.

The woman, after watching the movie 'Haalunda Thavaru', wipes her tears and calls her husband "Let's go visit your parents this weekend"

(Not sure I get this. Might have to watch the movie first. Inheritance?)

೧೭. "ರೀಟೇಲ್ ದರದಲ್ಲಿ ವ್ಹೋಲ್‍ಸೇಲ್ ಮಾರಾಟ" ಅಂತ ಅವನೆಷ್ಟು ಕೂಗಿದರೂ ಒಬ್ಬ ಗಿರಾಕಿಯೂ ಹತ್ತಿರ ಬರಲಿಲ್ಲ!

He kept yelling, "Wholesale goods at retail prices" but nobody would even go near him!

೧೮. ಚಿಂದಿ ಚಿತ್ರಾನ್ನ.ಕಡ್ಲೆಕಾಯಿ ಒಗ್ಗರಣೆ.ಉಪ್ಪು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಮುಂದಾಯ್ತು

Awesome lemon rice. Peanuts fried. A little too much salt.

೧೯. ಹೊಸದಾಗಿ ತಂದ ಎಮರ್ಜೆಂಸಿ ಲ್ಯಾಂಪನ್ನು ಉಪಯೋಗಿಸುವುದು ಹೇಗೆಂದು ಕೈಪಿಡಿಯನ್ನು ಬಿಡಿಸಿ ಓದುತ್ತಿರುವಾಗಲೇ ಕರೆಂಟ್ ಹೋಗಿ ಕಾರ್ಗತ್ತಲಾವರಿಸಿತು.

Just as he opened the manual to find out how to use the new emergency lamp, the power went out.

೨೦. ಅವನಂದುಕೊಂಡಂತೆ ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ಸಾಂಗವಾಗಿಯೇ ನಡೆಯಿತು. ಅವಳ ಕೊನೆಯವರೆಗೂ...

It all worked as per his wishes. Until her death...

೨೧. ಆಕೆಯಿಂದ ಪಡೆದುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದ ಮುತ್ತುಗಳನ್ನು ಜತನವಾಗಿ ಕಾಪಾಡಿ ಈಕೆಯನ್ನು ತೊರೆಯುವ ದಿನ ಇವಳಿಗೊಂದು ಸುಂದರ ಮುತ್ತಿನಹಾರವಾಗಿಸಿ ಕೊಟ್ಟ

He diligently saved every pearl she (A) gave him and gave it to the other one (B) on the day she (B) left him

೨೨. ಯಾವುದೋ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದವಳು ಧಿಗ್ಗನೆದ್ದು ದೇವರ ಮುಂದೊಂದು ತುಪ್ಪದ ದೀಪ ಹಚ್ಚಿಟ್ಟು, 'ದೇವ್ರೆ, ನಾನ್ ಪ್ರೆಗ್ನೆಂಟ್ ಆಗಿಲ್ದೇ ಇದ್ದಂಗ್ ನೋಡ್ಕೊಳಪ್ಪಾ' ಅಂದು ಬಚ್ಚಲುಮನೆ ಕಡೆ ನಡೆದಳು.

She suddenly got up from her reverie and lit a lamp before the Lord, said, "Dear God, I hope I am not pregnant" and she walked towards the bathroom.

೨೩. ಆಸೆ : ತಿಳಿಗೊಳದಲೆಯಲಿಹ ತರಗೆಲೆಯಡಿ ತರಂಗವಾಗಬೇಕು ತಾನ್

Desire: I want to be the little waves that form in clear water, under a floating leaf

೨೪. ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತು ಮೋಡಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಸರಿದು 'ಸೂರ್ಯ' ಇನ್ನೇನು ಹೊರಗೆ ಇಣುಕಬೇಕೆನ್ನುವ ಹೊತ್ತಿಗಾಗಲೇ ರಾತ್ರಿಯಾಗಿತ್ತು.

By the time the rains had stopped, the clouds made way and the 'Sun' peeped out, it was nightfall.

೨೫. 'ಸಾಲಗೆ ದೊರವುದಿಲ್ಲ; ವರದರಾಜ ಬಾಣಾವರ; ಕನ್ನಡ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ'

No credit; Varadaraj Banawar; Do not understand Kannada'

Guest Post #3: PS. You Asked For It

The husband played a cat-and-mouse game or two before he sent me a copy of his blog to post. When the write-up finally arrived, it is a topic close to his heart (read: cynicism).

I am struggling to write an introduction for this one. Here is my one chance to get back at him for all the gibes I've endured since the fateful day of my marriage. A one golden opportunity to kick some serious ass. Yet, I have been typing and deleting words for the last half hour.

Yikes, he's just performed the most heinous act! There's a head in my sink! Oh wait, it's only hair, a head-ful of it! I'd better run. You go on and read his (hic hic) post...

Before I go on and insult a good few million people, let me tell you that when an Indian is going 'abroad' it usually means the USA, UK or if the stars are not so well aligned, somewhere in Europe. Preferably not the eastern parts.

The story starts as soon as the said person hears that he has to fly and starts the visa application process. Status among peers immediately goes up. 'Lucky bastard', becomes a common nickname. Furtive glances are cast and the thought that LB will make a lot of money jumps from one greedy mind to another. LB does a lot of shopping, usually for copious amounts of warm clothes,  clean underwear and socks (one hopes). On the fateful day LB is to fly, the whole extended family turns up at the airport. Even uncles long thought to be dead and buried show up. It does not really matter if LB will be back before Kyuki Saas Bi Kabhi Bahu Thi airs the next week. Tearful hugs, blessings and lots of unnecessary advice later, LB enters the airport. LB usually has no problems with baggage rules. Every bag is carefully weighed at home, and every bag is invariably filled with pickles and packets of precious Maggi.

Nothing interesting ever happens on planes and airports everywhere are designed to suck the soul out of people who stray within a 10-mile radius. Except for cabbies. I'm willing to bet that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is more real than the Mile-High club. Imagine a few speeding frames in your head and LB is out of the airport and 'abroad'.

Remember the image of the quintessential Japanese tourist taking pictures of every damn thing in sight? LB and his ilk put Mr. Yamaguchi to shame. LB is crossing a street. Click. LB drinking out of a fountain. Click. Hot dog stand! Click. 

Indian food suddenly becomes more important than air. (I've been dragged around on trams on a snowy weekend in a city where the collective population spoke 7 words of English in totality. Of course, we sought an Indian restaurant. Any Indian restaurant). If LB turns out to be vegetarian, then god help him. Any of the billion Indian gods would do. Oh, and the local cuisine be damned.

LB does have a list of touristy places to visit and this is generally accomplished with the equivalent of 2 dollars, 17 cents and a suspicious looking piece of dried potato. A thousand photos and some carefully chosen souvenirs later, there is a list of places to be crossed off LB's list.

Thanks to Levis, Lee, Nike, Adidas and others peddling their wares in India, LB doesn't buy any shoes or jeans for people back home. However, there are still shopping lists thrust at LB by relatives, friends, neighbors and colleagues. Ka-ching. Loads of chocolates are bought too, usually in duty-free stores at the airport.

Many boring days (or weeks or months) later LB heads home to a hero's reception. For years all of LB's stories will include amusing anecdotes of his fascinating stay abroad.

How can I caricature LB so well? Well, I'm Indian and I've been 'abroad' a couple of times and have had the pleasure of LB's company each time. Oh, and LB comes in all shapes, sizes, both genders and from any of the gazillion states in India.

I assure you I was not sitting on top of the moral tree when I was writing this. I may have been leaning on it and smoking a cigarette, looking awesome, but that's another story.

Looking forward to some comments on this one, definitely. Help me where I have failed. 

Guest Post #2: The Things I Do...

It all started with writers' block, one guest blog and before I knew it, I was thinking Guest Blogger Week. I announced it first and then began to worry about finding people to write for me! I don't have too many blogger friends, what should I do? 

The immediate response to my request was an emphatic "No!" when I first started asking around. It was a test of my negotiation skills a.k.a nagging skills (as today's guest says). I'm pleased to announce that by the end of the second day, I had my second blog. Of course, it came with the condition of "complete anonymity". I also have 3 bloggers lined up for the rest of the week who are all super-excited. Three cheers to my negotiation skills, woo hoo!

Oops, I'd better stop rambling or I'll be accused of hijacking the blog. Moving on to the real stuff...

Royal Challengers Bangalore vs Kings XI Punjab (Tuesday 16th March 2010)

I know what you're thinking, "a review of a cricket game, wow, how exciting?"  Don't worry your excitement is matched with my lack of enthusiasm for writing.

Some years ago I read a book, Bad Hair Days by Pamela Bone, a memoir of a woman diagnosed with a quite rare form of cancer.  Pamela was a journalist prior to being diagnosed with her illness and comments in the book that usually less words are better when trying to get a message across.  I'm telling you this so that you can rest assured I won't be keeping you long.  

The real topic of this "guest" blog is nagging.  I'm a guy, a member of the weaker sex.  It's a Tuesday afternoon here in Bengaluru.  It's a holiday, Ugadhi, a time for eating sweets, right?  What better way to celebrate the Hindu new year than watching my beloved Challengers play cricket.  It's what any self respecting guy would do, right?  Alas, I've been nagged. Not just any nagging, this is the nagging of a friend, the worst kind.  "Write me a blog" she says, "I'm having a guest week for my blog".  Hmmm, "Not keen" I say.  Okay, that should be good enough, she cares enough about me to know that I would never write a blog.  What sorry person wants to know about my sorry life.  So fine, I tell her I'm not keen she asks someone else and we're all happy, right?  

Hours later I sit to watch the Challengers, on television, too many things in the way of me getting to the ground.  Why should I waste my time writing a blog?  Shit, I'm a guy, we don't do this stuff.  If she wants to write a blog why doesn't she write it herself?  Why should she interfere with my holiday just cos she can't be bothered writing her own blog?  It's not on!  But hold on, I've been nagged.  The nagging itself isn't a big deal until you reach the point where to shut her up you promise you will write a blog.  Shit, a promise is a promise.  I hate being one of the weaker sex! If only we had the prerogative to change our minds whenever we wanted, promise or no promise, sigh. 

It nears 6pm the players walk from the field for the change of innings, Kings XI have scored 203, things are looking bad all round.  RCB's batting line up isn't looking too solid, Pietersen and Taylor still to join the team. Anyway, as they walk from the field I reach for my laptop and start the dreaded chore of writing a "guest" blog!  This can't be happening.  Why is it happening?  Nagging, I have been nagged into doing this.  

So, I think some more about nagging. You know what, I've been nagged my whole life.  From my earliest days; "make your bed", "polish your shoes", "do the dishes", blah blah blah.  Then school; "do your home work", "sit up straight", "pay attention", blah blah blah.  Then, marriage, oh my god, where do I start.  Best not to.  And throughout all this a steady stream of nagging from friends, right up to the present day!

RBC are 89/1 at the half way mark, they're a chance.....  Why am I writing?  Why aren't I giving them my full attention?  The power of nagging.  

Now I'm wondering, would I have ever done anything in my life if it wasn't for nagging?  Is nagging a necessary part in getting the weaker sex to do anything?

Spike Milligan was quoted as saying "I would like to have enough money to prove that it can't make me happy". That's how I feel about nagging, I would like to go without it long enough to prove that I can't function without it.  

Oh, if you're interested in the cricket score, read about it in the paper.  I'm going to watch the last 8 overs in peace.  Happy Ugadhi!!

At the time of posting this blog, the match was over. RCB won the match by 8 wickets. Jacques Kallis was the star of the match. Oh yes, it was Happy Ugadhi after all - we won, Bangalore won!

Men Smart While Working With Smarter Women

A classic example of digression. When I clicked on this link, I expected a bunch of wise-ass comments from a number of men and women alike, possibly a meaningless debate and some arrogant comments, as are normal in most Man Vs Woman discussions. No matter what the topic is or how defined the agenda may seem, it inevitably strays into a Man Vs Woman discussion, mostly inconclusive and goes horribly into another tangent.

This write-up was not really an original article. It was what someone defined as an "interesting research" and contained a few comments from men who have worked with women bosses. Why a topic about men working with women consisted only of men with women bosses is beyond me. What I found even more baffling is that whereas some men spoke of difficulties and some others said they didn't mind working for a woman boss, I did not quite see anyone say nice things about working for women (I refuse to accept that this article is about working with women). In a write-up, is the author not supposed to present both sides of an argument? Don't tell me it is because the title has something about "men smart"ing when working for women. Even then, I repeat, the article must make a reference to some men who might have had an uneventful, if not pleasant, experience working for/with women. Wait, does he mean to tell me that no man ever worked for a woman and happily so?

I do not think that the article itself is bad. It bothers me because it seems a bit lop-sided. It is not something I might want to share with others, for I am not fully satisfied with the content. So, why am I sharing it now? It's not only the article that is "interesting" but the comments that follow. There are some very entertaining ones. Also, the comments are in horrible English, awful spellings and full of dyslexic typos, which make the reading more fun.

One guy thinks that a woman's smile reduces the pressure in him (blood pressure or the one you sit down for every morning?). Another guy wonders how you can put a man and a 'suitable' woman in a "cosy room" and expect them to work! His office is a cosy room? So, he wants to take her to bed! There's comments not just on a woman's mood-swings but also how you cannot have an argument with her because you can never predict how a woman behaves (laughing out loud). One guy writes a sequence of events that could occur in case there is a female boss and a female colleague in the team (kudos to him for being the first to talk about a female colleague): Step1 - They become fast friends, Step2 - They become stark enemies (he says to ask your wife why they do that, he doesn't know), Step3 - You are the go between, where the colleagues bitches about the boss and the boss is watching you to make sure you do not help the colleague.

In the midst of all this, there is one guy who replies to a girl's comment asking if he could be friends with her (clutching my stomach, can't stop laughing). Add to that, an unexpected series of comments (unexpected, inspite of all those email forwards which talk about how you can find a mallu wherever you go, even on the moon). Then there's a response to comment, by a Malayalee (in English) which is followed up by another guy who agrees with him (in Malayam) and a further response to that by a third guy who says something on the lines of "Ah, you're both malayalees aren't you? No wonder you share this opinion". By now, I am rolling on the floor laughing.

Have a read, make sure you get to the end of the trail of comments...

http://www.siliconindia.com/shownews/Men_smart_while_working_with_smarter_women-nid-60454.html

I found this link at work, among a few others that were posted on a sharepoint, as part of Women's Day activities. I am not sure it was entirely appropriate for Women's Day (even though the title might sound like it is). Given the nature of comments, I am not even sure it was appropriate to be posted on an office website. Whether it was right nor not, all said and done, it made a woman laugh (me, me, me). A lot. Happy Women's Day.

Yeah, yeah, I know it is on 8th March. Happy Women's Day, in advance!

Mathematical Logic

Copied from http://yerjoking.net/2010/02/mathematical-logic/. It's done rounds in forwards for ages, still want to post it here.


What makes 100%? What does it mean to give more than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give more than 100%. How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?

To assist with these questions, we provide here, a formula:

Assign each of the letters of the alphabet the values 1 through 26. So, A=1, B=2, C=3 and so on.

Now, let’s look at those words:

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K, or
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E, or
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E, or
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B+U+L+L+S+H+I+T, or
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

And,

A+S+S+K+I+S+S+I+N+G, or
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard Work andKnowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Unfortunately, I have to agree. Tried 1, 2, 3 ... always always overtaken by 4 & 5.

3 Idiots - My Take

After much ado, I watched '3 Idiots' with the husband on Saturday. As is normal with me, I got late getting ready and we missed the first 15 minutes of the movie, much to the husband's annoyance. He was really sweet about it and didn't fuss too much. 

My head was buzzing with all the controversies and publicity around the movie being a rip-off from the book, Five Point Someone, by Chetan Bhagat. Bhagat's numerous claims on Twitter that people went back to him saying the movie was hugely inspired by the book and comments on his blogs stating that everything in the movie was out of the book had led me to believe that the movie would be an exaggerated version of the book. 

If you start watching the movie with that in mind, it is not so much fun. The movie feels fake whereas the book real. Brush those thoughts aside and watch the movie, it is immensely enjoyable. At various points, it seems real in a strange way. As real as fantasy can get. Most of the humour lies in the conversation and delivery but there are some comic acts too. The writer has preferred to use Hindi without the intrusion of English or any other language. 

Spoiler Alert: If you haven't but intend to read the book or watch the movie, avoid this review. 

The book was realistic. It was believable and it is definitely something that the college-going crowd can identify with. That's why the book became so popular among the younger crowd. The movie, on the other hand, is hugely exaggerated, as most movies go and has traces of a typical Aamir Khan style. The focus of the movie is entirely different from that of the book, as is the treatment of the theme. 

While the skeleton of the book has been preserved, the fleshy bits have been significantly modified to appeal to the larger audience that the cinema goes out to. The spotlight has been moved from the main character of the book to the more fun character in the movie, to keep the viewers amused as the tale unfolds. The target audience for the message that jumps out of the movie is parents, teachers and students of all genres.

The writer of the book places himself (Hari) at the centre of the story, with some significant characters woven around it - his 2 friends, the dean's daughter, a lecturer or two. Bhagat narrates the story from a first-person point of view and he could be any one of us, never the star of the college. He brings out the picture of the state of affairs in an IIT, from the student's point of view, without directly doling out a moral at the end of the book. 

The movie has it's focal point on Hari's friend Ryan. The movie glorifies the more outgoing character that Ryan is and conveys the message of the story through his antics. Aamir Khan, as Rancho a.k.a Ranchoddas Shyamaldas Chaanchad a.k.a Phusukh Wangdoo, questions the current education system and points towards a better way of learning, at various points throughout the movie. The narrator remains Madhavan a.k.a Farhan (Hari in the book). They are supported by Sharman Joshi a.k.a Raju (Alok in the book).

When we reached the theatre, the scene on screen was that of the seniors-ragging-first-years i.e. first year students. That's the first of the many ideas taken out of Bhagat's book - first for me, I came in 15 minutes late, remember? As is the case with almost all of the ideas that were picked out of the book, this was not a mere exaggeration of the way the writer has related the event but handled in a completely different manner. 

In the book, the scene has the seniors ragging 3 students - Hari, Alok and Ryan. Alok is the wimp, who is ready to burst into tears, Ryan is the hero among the 3, who saves them from humiliation and scares the seniors away while Hari is the in-between character who neither whines nor has the nerve to protest. The movie, on the other hand has a large room full of scared first year students, all stripped down to their underwear. The senior is standing at the door, trying to get Rancho (Ryan's name in the movie) out of his room. Rancho ignores him, plays a prank right back at him (a moothra visarjan gone horribly wrong) and instantly becomes the hero of all the juniors (except the nerdy guys, of course). Alright, so both the book and the movie start with the ragging scene and Ryan a.k.a Rancho emerges hero - that's where the similarity stops. The literature in the book greatly differs from the comedy in the script.

Move a few reels ahead. Change of rooms. Alok moves out of his room and checks in with the geek of the class, Venkat, as a fallout with his friends after they scored low grades. He blames Ryan easy-going attitude and Hari hero-worship of Ryan as the reason for his bad marks. Raju & Farhan are invited by the dean into his room and advised to switch rooms if they want to perform well in the exams and steer clear of Rancho's companionship. Raju moves in with nerdy Chatur, Farhan stays with Rancho.

Who gets the girl? The hero always gets the girl. Hari falls in love with the professor's daughter, "does it" with her and uses her keys without her knowledge to steal papers from her father's office. There's a fair deal of emphasis in the book, of her relationship with her brother who was believed to have been hit by a train but had committed suicide. The father finds out only in the end and his has a change of heart from the grumpy professor that he always was. Rancho wins Neha, the dean's daughter (professor Viru Sahasrabuddi, popularly called ViruS), with his charming ways. Neha has a scooter, which plays a fair role in adding to the comic element in the movie. She incites them into stealing papers from her father's office and the only reference to her brother is very much later in the movie. As for the all-famous "doing it", the movie chooses the more conservative path and they don't even kiss till the end of the movie. This is in keeping with how Rancho's character emerges in the end and is also used to add a bit of humour to the romance.

Raju/Alok attempts to kill himself. Alok jumps off the terrace of the IIT building because he cannot get his sister married, cannot get good grades and cannot give up his friends. Raju jumps out the window of the dean's office because he is nearly rusticated after being caught peeing on the front door of the dean's house, in a drunken state one night. He has to chose between being thrown out of college or telling on his friends. He chooses to die. Alok's recovery is fast-forwarded to a few days, all is well in the end. In the movie, Rancho and Farhan go through a number of attempts to save their paralysed-but-brain-alive friend (don't know if that's possible in real life but it's only a movie, so the friends can save a life that a doctor cannot). 

As I said when I started off, the skeleton is definitely the book. The treatment very movie-like. If you try to make a comparison, you might be biased to chose one against the other, depending on what your preferences are. I found the book closer to reality and had I watched the movie with that in mind, I might not have enjoyed it at all. As separate entities, they are entertaining. 

Apart from the various hilarious moments in the movie, there are a fews twist towards the end - some predictable ones (ViruS gives his famous zero-gravity space pen to Rancho), some not so predictable (who is Phunsukh Wangdu and how did he get there). There are a few emotional moments and some unbelievable heroic deeds (Engineering students delivering a baby with a vaccum cleaner on the TT table in the engineering college campus, you have got to be kidding me!!). 

The take-away bits from the movie are entirely original. Even though I was skeptical the first time he mentions it, 'Aal eez well' (All is well) seems to have become quite a popular mantra among viewers. That explains all the status messages on Gtalk and Facebook, in the recent weeks. Then there's the extremely funny "Jahanpana, tussi great ho, tohfa kubool karo" (Your Highness, you are great, please accept my gift) - where the guy pulls down his pants, turns around and bends over at Rancho, as a sign of admiration! Love it when Chatur does this in the end, accepting Phunsukh Wangdu as superior to him

There is lots more that I haven't mentioned in this blog but if I had to cover all of them, I'd be narrating the story of the movie and reproducing the book here. It's worth a watch, might as well spend a few bucks. Value for money, either way - book or movie. I read the book, watched the play and then the movie. Watching the movie again today. The buck stops here.

I am even more convinced, after watching the movie that the entire controversy between Aamir Khan and Chetan Bhagat was staged. Bhagat has got his due credit (yes, I stayed to watch the credits and see where his name appeared) and his book sales have shot up. Khan and the movie-makers are still minting money out of the movie. The script-writer got his vi-si-bi-li-ty (a.k.a Paulo Coelho style) and his dialogues are repeated in offices and colleges. Everyone is happy. Did I miss mention of the audience? Oh no.. they are happy too. No one's complaining. 

The movie also has a few rip-offs from ads on television and the internet. Cliches but well presented. Remember the ad where the kid finishes his exam paper well past the time and stuffs his answer sheet in the middle of the bundle when the professor says he doesn't know who he is? Remember those email forwards of a man in black taking pictures of half a dozen women in burqas? I wonder what might happen if all those people came looking for credits. I bet none of them have got any mention in the names that scroll through.

The ugly business that the media happily fired and flamed has now relegated to being warm coal in the fireplace. Aal eez welll.

PS. While Aamir Khan is really good in the movie, the guy who took my heart away... Maddy. Look out for Farhan in the movie!

The Big Bang Theory - Title Track

The Bing Bang Theory Theme Song - Bare Naked Ladies

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...

The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall (we built the pyramids),
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang! BANG!

"Since the dawn of man" is really not that long,
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.
A fraction of a second and the elements were made.
The bipeds stood up straight,
The dinosaurs all met their fate,
They tried to leap but they were late
And they all died (they froze their asses off)
The oceans and pangea
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same big bang!

It all started with the big BANG!

It's expanding ever outward but one day
It will cause the stars to go the other way,
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it wont be hurt
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!

Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating out while here they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)
Religion or Astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy
It all started with the big bang!

Music and mythology, Einstein and Astrology
It all started with the big bang!
It all started with the big BANG!